Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Walking Through A Fun House

Recently, we observed two astrological phenomena, a lunar eclipse and a solar eclipse. I was playing under the light of the moon as a High Priestess during the lunar eclipse but I missed the solar eclipse because a deep depression has settled into my spirit and has left me contemplative, a darkness that I think is very healthy for us all to go through from time to time. I did catch the sun eclipse images on the Internet though. Jupiter Angel told me it was really cool. She was surprised when I told her I didn't watch it.

The eclipses were significant in my contemplation because my depression has made me cognizant how blinding "Light" can be when stared at too long in duration or when one is in close proximity. 
The eclipses also reminded me how, as magicians, we seek an inner "Light" or "enlightenment" as we work through our own inner darkness. Light is also really good at fooling you, especially if you are too trusting of your own perceptions and expectations.

Now, you see it...Now, you don't
My deep depression came about when one of my loved ones did not sense the deep Love and awe I was feeling and instead had an expectation of negativity, despite their training intellectually, magically and their God-given gift as an empath. I asked myself, "How could they have been so blind?" The event caused me to question my relationships and the very notions of my own intellectual abilities, magickal training and sensitivity. If someone so gifted cannot see, how can I expect to see? Why even do the Work if our propensity is to error?

When you're a sensitive person, the energies you sense from your surroundings can sometimes seem like walking through an LSD-effected carnival fun house. The images you see and the senses you feel are a warped representation of the real world, scary and surreal. Some magicians I know, have no psychic abilities whatsoever, or the abilities only manifest when they are doing a working, like a Tarot reading or a ritual. The Work can also increase or magnify our sensitivities, both negative and positive.

Are those teeth or Yods?
As an aside, I believe that is why it is so important to develop and learn the symbol sets required for our Work. It gives us a common "language" for us to communicate and understand other realms, different time periods or other forces. Like the light of all distant stars, certain phenomena has specific recognizable frequencies or modulations, that can be identifiable by the trained observer.
If you take the leap of faith and believe that we are all just composed of the particles of the cosmos,  the analogy between the directly observable of the stars and the inner quest of our own True Will is not too far reaching.

Some very talented and experienced magicians I know have led a tortured existence and it's no wonder that they have chosen the Path of Magick to empower themselves. They have felt true pain, loss and heartache. My heart sees them, they struggle through life and their clumsiness is the same as my own. They do the ritual to their deities to make themselves stronger in a particular area, for example, communication. They create their own kind of drug-induced Disneyland. They say their Hymns to Hermes, invoke Thoth through Israfel and Whatever Rite of Lord God of Tongue and the Spirit gives them exactly what they ask for. They learn exactly what it means to have sharpness in tongue and the true power of their words. Some say, the bullied become bullys themselves. Like the swing of the pendulum, in order for one to achieve balance, a state of inertia, the pendulum must swing in the opposite direction
"Everything flows out and in; everything has its tides; all things rise and fall; the pendulum-swing manifests in everything; the measure of the swing to the right, is the measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates." — The Kybalion.
This deep depression has given me a sense similar to a very specific CM motion, the Sign of Silence (SOS) or the Sign of Har-Par-Krat. A Frater describe the motion as, "Be Still":

Be Still!

The SOS is a motion imploring for the absence of sound or ceasing of activity. The sign is analogous to punctuation; a proverbial, ritual or kinesthetic, exclamation point. The sign also serves as impervious barrier. Har-Par-Krat is not merely the absence of sound. The allusion of the motion is also to cease a wild and potentially problematic pendulum swing.

During this personal SOS, I have been able to step back away from my previous situation and assess the situation, without the poison from my own perspectives and expectations or the toxins from other people's emotional pollution. It has allowed me to hear that small voice inside, that cannot be heard over the din of my mind and my feelings. Then, the eclipse happened and I remembered something crucial I learned in college.

The Sun bends Light from the Stars

Einstein and Newton both have theories about the deflection of Light. In Newtonian physics, deflection of light is caused by gravity, the force of the Sun's gravity attracting the rays of light from the stars. In Einstein's Theory of Relativity, the light deflection is cause by a deformation of both space and time caused by the mass, not an attraction. The deflection in both cases are very slight, but measurable. 

SpaceTime Curvature

This notion was exactly what my engineer's brain needed to wrap itself around what it meant to be "human", to be riddled with error. As we bring in the Light within ourselves, the Gnosis imprints itself on to our very existence, warping our reality and our sense of time and space. The change is inevitable and expected. It is like my latest epiphany during Easter when I realized that the Eucharist was not about blood, gore and sacrifice, but about taking the knowledge and understanding of the mysteries so much that we become a manifestation of the Truth itself. We become the source of the Light. We have to first face our fears and acknowledge the negativity, which is actually a deflection or change. We have to understand how the Light behaves in the Darkness of ourselves and how we initially perceive that Light so that we may understand the source and environment itself.

Like the pendulum, our propensity is to swing wildly in the opposite direction upon invocation of the "Force" of the Light, to achieve a sense of inertia. The swing is very painful.

There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” ― C.G. Jung
 Without any training of meditation, contemplation and prayer, that is the embodiment of the SOS, our lives begin to become uncontrollable and we lose the ability to "Be Still". Frater RA alluded to the idea that , Karma is an increasing propensity to be aware of something. IMO, as we continue to overcompensate and try to fight the lessons of the Darkness, the lessons continue to appear.

I think Einstein was channeling Har-Par-Krat when he made the following statement:
“If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x, y is play, and z is keeping your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein
My point is this, if you life is shifting wildly out of control and some things do not make sense, give the situation and yourself, the SOS. Then, you may be able to understand and perceive the true source of the light.

The magician will always keep silent with respect to his way, rise and success. The silence grants the highest powers and the more this commandment is obeyed, the more easily accessible will these powers be.   -Franz Bardon,  Initiation Into Hermetics



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