I was told by the druid that I need to work on my feelings and I have some deep-seated pain buried. He also told me that I don't know how to deal with my feelings. I told him I just needed to balance my air but he told me, "trust me, you're very air". I thought it was a problem with air since I have usually been so quiet about my issues. Since I have experienced his talent for healing and believe in his abilities to plant a seed, I have to trust him on that. Besides, he's a close friend. i am usually completely blind-sided when it comes to my emotions. You have to trust someone when they steer you into a direction in which you cannot really see and understand.
I had my birthday this weekend and instead of partying it up, like I should have, I stayed home and felt sorry for myself. I don't have a problem with getting older. I look really good for my age and I like the wisdom and experience of being older... so why did I stay home alone? Why didn't I just call someone and hang with them. In turn, I ended up posting a big, "Fuck You!" on Facebook even though. I wouldnt really say anything like that normally. So why the blow-up, like a 2-liter bottle of soda and mentos?
Because I am majorly resentful. It eats at me on a on-going basis. It is the bulk of my emotions. it fuels my passions, my self-isolation and my distrust, simultaneously and has displaced the foundation for what are typically positive feelings.
OMG. What the hell am I gonna do?
My gut instinct is that it is about Love and definitely trust