Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Finding Beauty and My Gift is My Present

Obi-Wan Kenobi: “Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future.”
Qui-Gon Jinn: “But not at the expense of the present."

I have been looking at myself in the mirror alot lately this last 3 months. I have lost about 30 pounds over the last 2 years and my eyes shine more than they used to. My kids used to say my eyes were always dark and lacked that internal glow. I have also noted that I smile more, like I used to when I was young with a mischievous impish, "I know something you don't know" look. Although I am still camera shy, I don't seem to avoid the camera near as much as I used to. This was most prevalent during PantheaCon when I allowed myself to be photographed in several pictures. (something I would never have done in my previous life). I have been blessed with good genes so I have never really looked my age so the loss of weight, the glowing look in my eyes and the smile on my face makes me look even younger. My body has also been changing because of the belly dancing, which I love, and I am beginning to see the beginning of some chiseled packs forming on my abdomen. I like what I see in the mirror now. Additionally I know my chronic illness has been getting better because the last laboratory work showed near normal results, a victory for me since I have been battling the illness for about 20 years now.

My whole demeanor has changed too. I am happier and calmer. What used to set me flying off the handle, now is handled with more reason and balance. My son is always telling my daughter that she has gotten off "so easy" and the old mom would have never reacted as calmly. At the same time, I do not allow certain people run all over me anymore. I see this marked difference in my professional life since I can now think through to a robust solution, instead of giving up to the pressure and tyranny of corporate greed, which was validated last month by a win over a battle that has lasted more than 4 years.

I rarely watch TV now and when I do, its mostly for the kids sake. I have interesting stuff to read, interesting stuff to do, interesting people to socialize with (and LOVE) and this blog to write. I don't miss the TV one bit.

One marked change in my attitude was letting go of the way I used to define myself. I used to think I HAD TO define myself according to a man. Before, I felt the need to be the trophy wife. I no longer do this and now I feel a greater sense of freedom and individuality that I have never experienced before

My priorities have changed. I feel more connected to the universe. I am eager for the future but I am enjoying my present.

What's my secret? Ssshhhh... Don't tell anyone. I drink 120 ounces of water per day, incorporate fiber, avoid processed foods and drink a bottle of Gotmyheadoutofmyass nutritional supplement, available at your health food store or occult bookshop for $1.99.

When you can avoid the blockage of your head in your ass, everything runs more smoothly through your system and Nirvana can be achieved.

1 comment:

Gwynt-Siarad said...

It's been a year or so now since I first met you. Everything you say here is true. I have seen the change and so have many others. Though you have more growing to do (we all do), watching you blossom is inspiring.