The Razor, The Wager and The Selfish Mystic

This last week was a very trying one. My legal battle with my ex has reared it's ugly head again so although my finances are cozy, I do have to do a little more planning than I expected. That, and I had to put my dear sweet but stubborn 13-year old blind and sick dog down. When you're a single mom, you really cannot anticipate and plan for everything and I am still riddled with the same Ego-driven self-centeredness as any other human.  I wanted to hang on to my dear sweet dog for as long as possible, despite the fact he was suffering from seizures and was increasing in pain more each day. I just did not think or want to accept what the vet called his "aftercare". He was such a loyal protector (a very large, black as night, muscular dog with pointy ears) and in a recent solitary rite, he would not budge and insisted on serving as the "Sentinel at the door". 

I let him go and held his dear sweet paw as he passed but I know he will always be there for me... because he will never lay down his sword. 

TO WILL
The euthanasia put a load on my budget and my sweet Jupiter angel's heart too. It has also been tough because as a single mom who works and Works, my balance requires that I use my time wisely on quality time with my Jupiter angel. She and I have been planning a special trip for a year to our special place and the dog's passing really took all of the money I set aside for the trip. She and I needed the time to heal and experience our togetherness. She especially needed me to give the loving attention that her father has severely withheld. I came up that I needed exactly $243 for the trip, did some personal magick for "necessary wealth" and found exactly that amount in various reserves.

There was a part of me that felt guilty (my on-going battle with Catholic baggage) about taking a life and choosing to have some "fun" after my intense ordeals with court and the dog and especially using magick to bring about a more positive outcome for my desires but then I found the following passage: 

 “Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones."   Marcus Aurelius

But then, I asked myself what is the difference between a moral/noble person, a mystic and a magician? A mystic and magician can be selfish and self-centered and certainly, I have heard of, though do not think I personally know, of magicians who are not moral. Again, I asked my self the question, "Why even bother? Why should I trudge myself through the endless stream of moral dilemmas and just give in to only those things that gives me great pleasure? Is living a life of great pleasure that same as living a good life that Aurelius alludes to? My own pleasure might be error or fault ridden, therefore, not Divine so there is a fallacy in that pleasure is Divine argument? Does the Divine and God/Goddesses even exist?"

TO KNOW
So I began to think again about frequency responses and my epiphany post about springs. I LOVE using the spring analogy (and not as in season). Springs are devices that have a potential for energy. They are designed in a particular manner to oscillate in a certain manner. They can be made of certain materials to make them more "springier" :) and they can be designed for certain functions like the spring for your garage door or the spring in your dart gun. All those specifications..or intent... are put into a device to make it work in a particular manner. Springs have to be "loaded" with something for them to begin their oscillation. I think perhaps the mystic is the spring and the magick is the load, that activates our potential and as magicians we constantly oscillate between the path of the magician and the path of the mystic. IMHO, I also believe what materials and design are put into the mystic, largely determines the virtues of the magician.

Frequencies of a Loaded (Magician's Path) and Non-Loaded (Mystic's Path) Spring with Nodes of Intersection. 

So I began to wonder again what are the nodes whereas the Path of the Magician and the Path of the Mystic intersect? After all, wouldn't THAT be the straight and narrow path that some traditions talk so fondly about? If you connect the nodes of intersection in the positive region, the nodes make a straight line. Perhaps, the straight line would be the reconciling of two opposing forces. Perhaps, the nodes of the two paths are the virtues that Aurelius spoke of? The Aurelius quote reminded me of the principle of Occam's Razor and my research on the topic led me to the following quote, which provided me some great resolution between the notions of the selfish, self-centered and error-ridden mystic/magician with hedonistic tendencies and the existence of a Divine power.

Since nature works for a determinate end under the direction of a higher agent, whatever is done by nature must needs be traced back to God, as to its first cause. So also whatever is done voluntarily must also be traced back to some higher cause other than human reason or will, since these can change or fail; for all things that are changeable and capable of defect must be traced back to an immovable and self-necessary first principle. Thomas Aquinas in the Summa Theologica

The following passage also says it quite well:
 

All things that are, are moved; only that which is not, is unmovable.

Every Body is changeable.
Not every Body is dissolvable.
Some Bodies are dissolvable.
Every living thing is not mortal.
Not every living thing is immortal.
That which may be dissolved is also corruptible.
That which abides always is unchangeable.
That which is unchangeable is eternal.
That which is always made is always corrupted.
That which is made but once, is never corrupted, neither becomes any other thing.
First, God; Secondly, the World; Thirdly, Man. -The Divine Pymander

TO DARE
The Aurelius quote implies that just living a "noble life" is, in and of itself, is Divine but that is not good enough for me. I want to believe in something bigger and more infinite. I have to wager or take a leap of faith and be daring.  I agree with Pascal and would rather take the wager on infinite gain: 
 Pascal's Wager

1. "God is, or He is not"
2. A Game is being played... where heads or tails will turn up.
3. According to reason, you can defend either of the propositions.
4. You must wager. (It's not optional.)
5. Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is. Let us estimate these two chances. If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing.
6. Wager, then, without hesitation that He is. (...) There is here an infinity of an infinitely happy life to gain, a chance of gain against a finite number of chances of loss, and what you stake is finite. And so our proposition is of infinite force, when there is the finite to stake in a game where there are equal risks of gain and of loss, and the infinite to gain.

Finally, this last week journey has led me to believe perhaps the nodes on the straight and narrow path has something to do with To Know, To Will, To Dare, and ... TO KEEP SILENT

Quod Erat Demonstrandum
QED