This is more of a thank you and a status update more than anything. Jack Faust commented that he watches my blog, which felt really GREAT so I thought I would tell all of you awesome 15 followers of my progress. My next post will hopefully be on the topic of hedonism.
I have finished my first month with Themis and I have felt alot of personal growth in a balanced context. I have been mostly working on the feeling of resentment since I feel its the first major hurdle I need to overcome. It hasnt felt like too much like work because I feel like a tremendous burden has been lifted. Sometimes, I do feel uncomfortable. I have good days and bad days, but mostly happier and better days since I started back on a Path.
I have started my second month with Maat, which from the very beginning, felt like her true form to me (I dont do alot of detailed reading about the deity work, since my goal is to retain as much of the impression of the Work as possible so it was refreshing to find that my original impression of her was valid). I have been trying to understand the elements, astrology and the Qabalah. I have also been working the BOTA course, which in my second month, is pretty similar to any 1st and 2nd chapter of a magick book. I look forward to the 8th week, when I can actually dig into the Tarot. I think I might have graduated to the next Tarot card in my personal meditations, but only time and life will reveal. I am determine to do the Self-Initiation into the Neophyte grade. I will finish it! I will not give up.
I do ritual daily: Lesser Banishing Pentacle Ritual, Banishing Hexagram Ritual and Middle Pillar (I can now do these without looking at the texts), with practical magick, meditation, prayers and offerings on a regular basis. I read as much as possible and have been trying to build a strong reference library, given my financial limitations. Mostly, I have been referring to the Cicero Self-Initiation text since I have been hand-making my magickal implements.
Once I have some experience under my belt, I would truely like to study some of RO's and Jason Miller's work. Mr. Miller is not one of my followers but I respect his insights greatly. I especially appreciate RO's insight, as he has been quite resourceful and kind to me.
I finished my Runes class, which was based on the Paxson text. The class provided me with some valuable insight on symbology in general. I continue with my "Pagan Group" and my blogger friends regularly since they are a VERY valuable sounding board to me, even when I think thet are ignoring me :). I also continue to try to develop the friendships I have been blessed with on Facebook. You all inspire me and support me. I LOVE each and everyone of you, especially the ones who know my true identity. It has helped me develop trust again in a world of distrust.
Thank you My Gal and HilbertAstronaut for offering insight in a voice I can relate to. I really hope I can continue to continue to develop your friendships.
And most of all, Thank You to Gwynyt Siarad and Robert (Frater POS) because you two have opened the doors for this previously abused, shy, timid and quiet, yet resentful little woman, who just needed a hand from another caring human. I honor you, not because you are perfect, but you're have been willing to share your struggles and triumphs. You have helped me find my voice. I want to say that I dont want to disappoint you, but now its more of a feeling for my own self-satisfaction and finding my own True Will. You both have put up with more than your fair share of shit from me (No way to put that in politically-correct terms). I have eternal gratitude for you.
A very wise and respected man told me that I was poised to receive some very valuable gifts. I do not feel perfect or divine yet, but I definitely feel better about myself.
YES, I have been working my ass off! but its giving me alot of pleasure.
15 months ago, I felt alone and now I can proudly proclaim that I have friends, which is indeed, VERY EMPOWERING and Awakening.