Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Bum Card

I do have another blogpost in the works on Geburah, but it can wait. I was inspired to write this. One of my Fraters posted this:

The only constant is the universe is change. Don't whine when you get dealt the bum card. Adapt and overcome. Growth comes from adversity.

This is usually my favorite time of the year but it has been difficult lately. My love life, my health, my finances and my home life have not been the best (at least when I compare it to previous years). Its been a struggle for me and it has been very difficult for me to NOT sit there and whine about my situation so when Frater posted his statement, my first knee jerk reaction is to say, "Yeah, I was married to the bum card for almost 20 years"

Alas, no, I cannot do that to him for if I did, I would be denying all of the good that did come out of my marriage. When I met "Doc", he was a beautiful man, not yet showing the years of drug and alcohol addiction. He just got out from doing a year in jail for a dime bag of meth that you couldn't scrape a single line from. He was stunning with forearms/shoulders of steel, a thick mane of hair, a penchant for poetry (he's been published), a brilliant mind and THE MOST charming one-eyed wink. He was a "bad boy". Yes. Good girls usually fall for the bad boys. He swept me off my feet and I really wanted to save him. I met him at a time in my life when I living within the strict upbringing and expectations of my parents. I turned away from stress of perfection. We were very much Yin and Yang.

Doc always had many issues, too many to list here but despite his many problems, he always gave me hope. Why? For anyone to come out of the life and hardships that he has been through, its a wonder that he kept the one thing that kept me striving/enduring so long in our marriage. He has a good heart. He struggles with it but he can love. He has displayed that "growth from adversity" that I have yet to see from any other person in extremely harsh conditions. He was dealt that bum card of Life. Did I save him from himself? No! Obviously, the years of abuse was too much water under the bridge. Our relationship taught me the following

  • A goal make take years, decades or even a lifetime to overcome but persistence and determination will get you through
  • Family are not only those people you share blood with
  • Don't ever forget where you came from, so you never go back
  • A trip to a local museum can be just as inspiring as a trip to nature.
  • That bum might be the sweetest guy in the world who need a hand so give him that five dollar bill, instead of that change, especially if he truly looks cold and hungry. The point is to actually LOOK at him and not ignore him.

...and Finally, don't ever neglect the people who truly love you, not because they might stop loving you. But because if you don't tend to that Love, you might find yourselves at different Paths where there is no going back.

I have now learned that the Yin/Yang is acutally within me.

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