Tonight I completed my second month with Maat. I had to do the ritual naked since I could not find my robe. In fact, I felt confused all night so it took some time just to gather the things I needed and bathe. I purposely went slow to keep my focus. I was told that we are in the midst of a mercury retrograde so I guess, confusion can occur and exhibiting patience should be exercised. I also tried to meditate longer than usual, desperately, but to no avail.
I tried something a little different tonight, especially since my brain was not as focused as usual. I took advantage of the fact. I went thru the visualizations and then let the brain-generated image go, especially by my left brain.
When I switched she became more life-full and I could feel her presence like she was standing to me real close, instead of at the distance I usually visualize her. The colors of her tunic became richer and deeper and I sensed a type of steady state vibration from her. Her lotus wand also seem to vibrate steadily and had an ethereal glow. Her ankh generated warmth yet solid. although i never grasped the ankh, warmth and solidity is the energy that I felt emanating from the object. The jewelry she was wearing seemed like they made sounds, like wind chimes in 20 MPH winds. The feather she blessed me with became part of my body and at one instant, I felt like I was the feather, emanating a slow vibration and glowing ethereally. The ankh also sank into my body, first with fluidity, absorption, and then with solidity.
After I finished, I did the LBRP, as called for, but this time, I actually felt the archangels. almost ominous creatures, that seem to fill almost the whole entirety of my temple space, except for Gabriel. I have difficulties sensing Gabriel.
I felt an overall strengthing and relaxation from the ritual and I felt I found a better way to communicate with Maat.