Thursday, December 2, 2010

An Ungrateful Tiger

A little deviation from my normal ranting. This is a gift for a dear friend who loves stories. I tried to include some references to my studies:

In a dark jungle, there was a small village. The people of the village were being tormented by a very large fiery colored tiger with big sharp teeth, long claws like daggers like and crimson eyes. Teeth that could tear a man apart in one big CHOMP. Claws that could cut a man's leg off with one big SWISH. Well naturally, since this tiger was a very large tiger, he never seemed to get enough to eat so he took it upon himself to eat the village people as snacks. One very fortunate villager got away from the very large tiger, but, minus one leg. The tiger ate an elephant that night so he was just looking for some dessert.

The villagers decided they would do something about their unfortunate ordeal so they began to dig a very large hole in the earth to trap the very large tiger. Everyone in the village participated, especially the man with one leg, who dug the most dirt. The man with one leg especially had a vengeance against the very large tiger. After all, he had only one leg and a man who stands on one leg can be very mean and spiteful.

So the very large tiger was caught in the very large hole in the earth. He howled and whined for a very long time, like all very large tigers do and a traveler happened upon the very large fiery colored tiger.

"Oh say, tiger, mighty fiery tiger, what is the matter?", asked the traveler.
"Cant you see? I have been trapped in this very large hole. If you let me out. I will forever be grateful.", said the tiger.

The traveler, being a very kind with good intentions. found an oxen tied one end of the rope to the ox and the other end to a very large tree. using a very large whip, the traveler struck the ox until it pulled a tree limb into the very large hole. Using the tree limb, the very large tiger jumped out. The kind traveler with good intentions, promptly kicked the ox in his butt and sent him on his way.

"I must be going now Tiger", said the traveler.
"Not so fast", said the Tiger, "I'm going to eat you!"
"WHAT? That's not fair. You said you would be grateful. Why do you want to eat me", said the traveler.
"Because I a mighty fiery very large tiger and tigers eat people.", said the tiger.
"I think we should ask someone to see if that fair." said the traveler.

So the traveler and the tiger found the ox and asked him if he felt it was fair for the tiger to eat the traveler.

"I think its fair for the tiger to eat you. Humans treat oxen very badly. We work all day for you under the pain of your whips and when you are done with us, you kick us in the butt", said the ox.

The traveler feeling very nervous and regretful that he treated the ox so badly, said to the tiger, "Lets make it two out of three!"

The tiger still exhausted from his entrapment agreed. They found the biggest tree in the forest, told them their story and the tree said, "I think its fair for the tiger to eat you. You humans chop us down and set fire to the forest and burn us. Did you not just cut a branch down from my brother tree?"

The traveler felt very nervous and regretful, again. He realized that he just treated another living being very badly. He began to shake with terror. He saw a bunny hopping along and pleaded, "Please Mr Bunny, help judge if tiger should eat me?"

The bunny listened intently to their story and said, "Before I make my judgement, I need to see what happened." So the traveler and the tiger showed the bunny the hole.

"Was this branch in the hole?", inquired the bunny.
"No it wasn't!", exclaimed the tiger.

"You should help the traveler move the branch so I can see exactly", remarked the bunny.

The traveler (not wanting to bother the ox again) and the tiger pulled the very large branch out of the hole so the story could be demonstrated to the bunny.

"Now, show me, tiger, exactly where you were when the traveler helped you out?" asked the bunny.

The tiger, being very hungry and impatient, jumped back down in the hole and the bunny issued the following judgement:

"My judgement is that it is not fair that you should eat the traveler. He had good intentions and you should have been grateful."

The bunny hopped away, the traveler rushed off back on his Path (albeit wiser) and the tiger was left AGAIN howling and whining in his hole.

Morals of the story
The man who stands on one leg can be very severe and cruel.
Severity and cruelty will bring out the evil of the tiger.
Only a fool would mistreat an ox and kick him in the butt.
Be nice to the trees or they will leave you out on a limb.

Beware of the bunny, because he will fuck you over.

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