My mood is dark, yet I feel liberated.
Its difficult to claim non-ownership when you have spend a lifetime nurturing, loving and caring and then life goes awry. Sometimes, one has to say, "I did my best!", then let it go.
But the non-ownership is not the only big obstacle, one has to allow oneself to continue to feel non-ownership. I read something in my BOTA studies that stated:
"Liberation is indefinitely progressive".
These words stung and burned because it meant that my battle with ownership will be on-going. My feelings will not change. I will continue to feel sad, angry or disappointed. I am human, however, I do not need to stay in that vicious cycle. I do NOT have to claim ownership to the pain.
I Will, however, continue to claim ownership to the Love.