That's F#&kng Depressing!

I suffer from situational depression and I can be described as a sensitive individual. It has gotten better, whereas, a depression cycle used to last an entire seven year period, it is now down to only months. People in my former group used to tell me all of the time to stop being so sensitive. It was like asking me to stop breathing. I naturally sense and see the world in a different way, not the typical or average manner. I have been sensitive like this literally since I was a toddler. Using my experience within the blogosphere and my online social networks, IMHO, mages tend to be of higher intellect and sensitivity because our realm requires it to be successful. Intelligent and sensitive people are more prone to depression so when you add the elements of self-discovery of life, death and resurrection to the mix, you automatically get that cycle of happiness, depression and neutrality. WE have a predisposition to depression as intellectual magicians. I have a VERY DIFFICULT time with believing that happy-go-lucky fluffy bunny BubbleHead Mac Big-Moon-Bottom is a powerful occultist. FUCK THAT SHIT!!! Just like the dark, Light can be quite blinding too.

There are several ways to be intelligent or gifted: linguistically, logically/mathematically, spatially, kinesthetically, artistically and socially. Unfortunately, as an intelligent or gifted child grows, develops and learns, a few other traits are neglected and are not nurtured. IMHO, this is the reason why "nerds" and "geeks" are often ostracized. They do not develop adequate foundations in the areas, for example artistic or kinesthetic skills, and so therefore become strange or odd to average people. This retardation of growth is further exacerbated by the fact that since these kids are "so bright" they are often left to fend for themselves or made to figure it out themselves, despite the fact that they lack the skills necessary to build those deficient areas. I was told by a teacher/witch friend of mine that the worse discipline problems tend to be with the very smart or with the [lower IQs]. Our prison population is a testament to that since there is an above average high intelligence demographic. This awkwardness in intelligence has a potential to endure an entire lifetime to the point where we move from the stereotypical image imposed externally to a type-casting imposed internally (self-degradation):

Sad and Pathetic?



Is this ALL that we are?

I think depression is one of our biggest obstacles as magicians. I prevents us from realizing our full potential. In some cases, we become the perfect Borg of the nerdy caricature.

I don't claim to be an expert but I know what has helped me. First of all, identify the symptoms of depression. (This for me is the HARDEST PART) We are all good at fooling ourselves, especially with hedonism. Second, I realized the bouts of depression are cyclical so therefore inevitable. I realized after about 21 years that my cycle of depression was about 7 years. Third, find yourself a good support network of family, loved ones, friends and resources. Finally, and this is the most important, take yourself out of your comfort zone and strengthen the weaker areas. If you are typically a logical intellect, go take a yoga class.

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. - Ernest Hemingway, author and journalist, Nobel laureate (1899-1961)

Be gifted, be balanced, be happy and become a sorcerer, the ultimate magician.