Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Does the Scary Clown Dream?

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. -Oscar Wilde

Sometimes I wonder about other people... I wonder what makes them tick. First and foremost, I wonder if they ever had dreams when they were children. I have always encouraged my kids to have dreams.It may be bold to say but I believe that a person's success can be measured by the amount of dreams that they made come to fruition. Are they living their dream? Or are they stuck in a situation where they are just surviving?

When I was a kid I dreamed of being an astronaut or a pilot. I used to take the local bus to the airport and spend the afternoon watching the little passenger planes land and take off. The airport used to have little comfy booths to sit in (pre-TSA) and I would bring some fiction, a sketch book and dream the afternoon away about places I would go and people I would meet and things I would do. When I first started going to the airport, I felt a little funny and I was always worried I would get in trouble. What I found was that the airport staff kinda respected that I enjoyed the planes so much since they shared the same joy as I did. It was a fitting choice when I decided to become an engineer. I worked hard in school and was fortunate enough to get into a reputable university. I don't work for the aerospace industry now but pretty close... Close enough to know that there are ONLY THREE hooks holding the suborbital spacecraft on the prototype for the first commercial spaceship.

Have you ever felt you were in a surreal place that felt like it was the back drop for a movie yet you were actually living it?

What made me think of this was actually a couple of things. One of these things was a conversation I was having with a fellow sorcerer. Someone had asked about what a thought form was and he responded that: "its like when you think about something REALLY REALLY hard and eventually it just comes true". Another thing I have been thinking about is ... of all things...scary clowns. Scary clowns are not funny... they're scary, and pathetic.

The scary clowns remind me of a person I know and feel sorry for sometimes. This person really has no one to love and his/her relationships and friendships are superficial and gratuitous at best. I took some time to get to know this person so that I might try to be this person's friend. The friendship did not happen because once I scratched at the surface of the caked on makeup and painted-on smile, I found a truly deplorable person. I discovered the source of the deplorability actually stemmed from a sort of inner turmoil caused by personal humiliation and embarrassment, a turmoil and humiliation that actually has led to self hatred and isolation. I think the dreamer that feels punished by the vision of the dawn actually hasn't gotten over their feeling of stupidity of being in the dark.

So what do dreams, thought forms, clowns, planes and magick have in common?

We have to dare to dream. We have to go to that place inside of us, that child mind-set, where we don't worry about embarrassment. (Because let's face it, donning funny robes/hat and chanting are pretty silly out of context) Then, we have to pull on those awkward, ill-fitting clown shoes... stumble about... and feel stupid about being in the darkness.

But first, ask yourself... do you dream about being a clown?

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